28 November, 2011
26 November, 2011
Be careful what you wish for...
I have been craving a day to myself. A day for whatever I want in the exact moment I want it. No worries about anyone else's needs, just a selfish day for me. I imagined reading and crafting and blogging and shopping. Maybe some cooking or closest organizing if I got really ambitious.
INSTEAD I woke up a little before six this morning and just didn't feel right. By the time I sat up in bed, I felt terrible. The next 13 hours I spent alone not worrying about any one else's needs. Nevin and Lou had a day just the two of them while I laid alone in bed wishing for a regular busy day full of errands and dishes. Whether it was food poisoning or the flu, I am hoping to not have to deal with the likes of it ever again. Being sick is the greatest reminder of how good I really have it every day I'm not wishing for someone to put me out of my misery. After having some toast (thank you, Nevin) and half a bottle of Gatorade (again, thank you hubby) tonight, I feel I am finally on the mend. My dehydrated joints are still screaming in agony but the thought of food no longer makes me want to go on a hunger strike.
Why oh why, could this have not been a day spent with my nook and a bottomless coffee cup? Apparently, in the future I must be clearer with the genie.
INSTEAD I woke up a little before six this morning and just didn't feel right. By the time I sat up in bed, I felt terrible. The next 13 hours I spent alone not worrying about any one else's needs. Nevin and Lou had a day just the two of them while I laid alone in bed wishing for a regular busy day full of errands and dishes. Whether it was food poisoning or the flu, I am hoping to not have to deal with the likes of it ever again. Being sick is the greatest reminder of how good I really have it every day I'm not wishing for someone to put me out of my misery. After having some toast (thank you, Nevin) and half a bottle of Gatorade (again, thank you hubby) tonight, I feel I am finally on the mend. My dehydrated joints are still screaming in agony but the thought of food no longer makes me want to go on a hunger strike.
Why oh why, could this have not been a day spent with my nook and a bottomless coffee cup? Apparently, in the future I must be clearer with the genie.
25 November, 2011
Days of Thanksgiving: Twenty Four
24. I am thankful for
books +
blankets +
movies +
hot chocolate +
our (fake) fireplace +
a couple totes of holiday cheer =
TODAY!!
23 November, 2011
Days of Thanksgiving: Twenty-Three
23. I am thankful for a clean house. I hate cleaning. I am not one of those people who enjoys the act of cleaning, tidying, scrubbing, dusting, or vacuuming. All I need to do to motivate myself to those tasks however is to think of the feeling I'll have lounging on my couch knowing my toilets are scrubbed, the counters are wiped and the floors are crumb free (for the time being).
I grew up in a busy house that was overrun with kids and pets. It's not that my family wouldn't have loved a clean house, it's that it just wasn't a priority. I should rephrase that, it wasn't a priority for the majority in the house, my mom would have killed for a clean house but she couldn't win the battle against seven (often lazy) kids, an instrument collecting husband and furry pets galore.
Now that I have my own house, I force myself to make cleaning a priority. I still hate the act of cleaning, but the result of having a clean house cannot be matched. It is the start to all things great.
Now if only I could tackle the virtue of organized closets and drawers...
I grew up in a busy house that was overrun with kids and pets. It's not that my family wouldn't have loved a clean house, it's that it just wasn't a priority. I should rephrase that, it wasn't a priority for the majority in the house, my mom would have killed for a clean house but she couldn't win the battle against seven (often lazy) kids, an instrument collecting husband and furry pets galore.
Now that I have my own house, I force myself to make cleaning a priority. I still hate the act of cleaning, but the result of having a clean house cannot be matched. It is the start to all things great.
Now if only I could tackle the virtue of organized closets and drawers...
Days of Thanksgiving: Twenty-Two
22. I am thankful for crafts. I don't have the time to do them as much as I would like, but the anticipation of a good craft is exciting. This pre-Christmas season I'm going to work on an advent calendar for next year.
It will be time consuming and require some patience, but here's hoping!
It will be time consuming and require some patience, but here's hoping!
Days of Thanksgiving: Twenty-One
21. I am thankful for a good cry. I like to think I roll with the punches. I try to buy into the idea that I'm spontaneous and change is a positive thing. The truth of the matter is that I need a schedule. I want to know what to expect and I don't do well when I don't know. Little things often bother me but I force myself to push through. When the fiftieth "little thing" in two weeks happens however, I can no longer pretend. After having our new fridge delivered yesterday and discovering it was 1/8th of an inch too large for the hole in the kitchen, I held it together until the delivery men left. I held it together long enough to go buy Louis milk (as he had sucked the last bit down with his breakfast). I held it together as I hauled the eggs and cheese up from the basement to cook lunch. I even held it together when I hauled it all back down to the basement. When I hit my head on the light that usually hangs over our dining room table but was now in the middle of the room since the dining room table had been moved to get the too big fridge into (and out of) the house, I lost it. Poor Louis watched his mom sobbing like she had not sobbed in a long time.
I can remember very pointedly times in the last few years that I've cried like this and while the problems are never solved after the sob, the act of the sob gives me a renewed sense of power. If I survive the sob, I can conquer whatever it is that has me down and much of the hopeless feeling diminishes.
I can remember very pointedly times in the last few years that I've cried like this and while the problems are never solved after the sob, the act of the sob gives me a renewed sense of power. If I survive the sob, I can conquer whatever it is that has me down and much of the hopeless feeling diminishes.
22 November, 2011
Days of Thanksgiving: Twenty
20. I am thankful for my love. He is my best friend. He has been there for me in the best and worst moments in my life. He is undeniably funny. He is caring and gentle. He is a great dad. He is an amazing partner. He is a giant goofball. He is my favorite.
Days of Thanksgiving: Nineteen
19. I am thankful for the Hallmark Movie channel and DVR. Louis decided after sleeping for three hours last night that he was wide awake. None of my usual tricks worked. Stories-nothing. Snack-nothing. Rocking-nothing. Nursing-nothing. Singing-nothing. After fighting with him for an hour, I finally gave in and came downstairs to play and watch a movie. He finally gave in to the sleepies about 1:00AM, but while we played blocks I also got a cheesy movie fix!
One day he won't need me to keep him company late at night when he isn't tired. One day he won't let me rock him. One day he won't want to spend his Thanksgiving break nights with his mama. One day he won't sit in the same room as me while I watch Eve's Christmas.
One day he won't need me to keep him company late at night when he isn't tired. One day he won't let me rock him. One day he won't want to spend his Thanksgiving break nights with his mama. One day he won't sit in the same room as me while I watch Eve's Christmas.
Days of Thanksgiving: Eighteen.
18. I am thankful for weekends with family. Last weekend we spent some time with my family in Storm Lake and we'll be in Marengo for Thanksgiving later this week. Although we live much closer to our families than some, we still don't get there nearly as much as I wish we could. Between our busy schedules, need for downtime and the stress of traveling with a one-year-old who HATES the car, we're lucky to get back every six weeks.Once we're there, the time always goes too fast.
I fantasize about living closer so I can swing over for a cup of coffee with my mom or make it to one of the girls' volleyball games. We could have idyllic Sunday brunches and Louis could have one on one time with all of his aunties and uncles. Instead of the focus on what I don't have however, the point of Days of Thanksgiving is to focus on what I do. Louis had a wonderful time, although he would have loved more time with his Papa who stayed away because of a stomach bug. We ate GREAT food and laughed a lot. We shared stories and memories and played games. I'm thankful for a family that I genuinely like as well as love.
I fantasize about living closer so I can swing over for a cup of coffee with my mom or make it to one of the girls' volleyball games. We could have idyllic Sunday brunches and Louis could have one on one time with all of his aunties and uncles. Instead of the focus on what I don't have however, the point of Days of Thanksgiving is to focus on what I do. Louis had a wonderful time, although he would have loved more time with his Papa who stayed away because of a stomach bug. We ate GREAT food and laughed a lot. We shared stories and memories and played games. I'm thankful for a family that I genuinely like as well as love.
Days of Thanksgiving: Seventeen
17. I am thankful for bath time. Because I'm still nursing at night, Nevin usually does bath time. It gives us both a little bit of alone time after a long day at work. Sometimes, Nevin just needs a break and I just need a little more time with the boy. Bath time always cheers me up. Louis is goofy and happy in the tub and it's ten minutes of uninterrupted time with just the two of us. We read the same three books over and over and help Captain B catch his fish. He laughs and splashes and I cannot multitask. Bath time is good for the soul!
16 November, 2011
Days of Thanksgiving: Sixteen
16. I am thankful for a slow day. A day where there is no place to be and no reason to get out of our pajamas. These days don't come around very often but I'm hoping that during my week off I can at least get one. With the size of my to do list, I'm going to make it a priority.
Days of Thanksgiving: Fifteen
15. I am thankful for lists. I put everything into lists. To do. Wants. Needs. Hopes. Books to read. Goals to work toward. Things to stop doing. Grocery lists. Things that make me happy. Things that upset me. The next year. The next five years. The next twenty years. I love crossing things off of my list, but even more than that I love the act of writing the list.
Writing a list is the first step in conquering the unconquerable. It organizes my thoughts and makes everything look at least a bit more manageable. When life gets overwhelming, I first take a deep breath and then sit down with a notebook and a pen. I cannot even count the amount of times in my journey to becoming a mom, that I sat with paper in hand. "Get pregnant' and "stay pregnant" did not come as easy things to cross off my personal list, but I could "quit drinking caffeine," "buy skinny jeans and enjoy enjoy your body now" or "go out on a fun date with Nevin and then sleep until noon the next day." Lists have given me pseudo-control when I've been grasping for something, anything to center me.
I have been known to put things on my list solely for the purpose of crossing them off in the next few minutes, hours or day. Some of the things may not be crossed off for weeks, months, or even years but "shower" can be immediately tackled and conquered.
Amandajean-1 Universe-O.
Writing a list is the first step in conquering the unconquerable. It organizes my thoughts and makes everything look at least a bit more manageable. When life gets overwhelming, I first take a deep breath and then sit down with a notebook and a pen. I cannot even count the amount of times in my journey to becoming a mom, that I sat with paper in hand. "Get pregnant' and "stay pregnant" did not come as easy things to cross off my personal list, but I could "quit drinking caffeine," "buy skinny jeans and enjoy enjoy your body now" or "go out on a fun date with Nevin and then sleep until noon the next day." Lists have given me pseudo-control when I've been grasping for something, anything to center me.
I have been known to put things on my list solely for the purpose of crossing them off in the next few minutes, hours or day. Some of the things may not be crossed off for weeks, months, or even years but "shower" can be immediately tackled and conquered.
Amandajean-1 Universe-O.
Days of Thanksgiving: Fourteen
14. I am thankful for repair people. After putting my car into oncoming traffic and having my dishwasher deemed kaput, our dryer stopped tumbling. I knew I never should have put, "What in the world could happen next?" in print. I know one should never put all of their laundry off until the weekend, but that often happens in our house. I have a hard time staying up late enough during the week to get something washed, dryed, folded, and put away.
The incident was on Friday afternoon of course and there was no hope of repair help before Monday. We spent the weekend digging DEEP into our closets and even made an emergency run to Target for socks and underwear at one point. Monday over his lunch hour, Nevin was told all we needed was a new dryer belt. While that is $100 I would have preferred to spend elsewhere, at least we didn't need another trip to Lowe's!
I am thankful for people whose expertise is different from mine. I don't know how to fix a dryer (obviously) and when my dishwasher overflowed the best I knew how to do was turn it off and lay down towels! When my computer malfunctions, I yell for my husband, mom or brothers. If I want advice about resume writing, I have a friend in the wings. More information on current events, a great history teacher friend. Parenting, an abundance of friends and family (both online and off). I can't do it all. None of us can. It's not a weakness to ask for help but instead a strength.
May I know when to ask for help, but also when to offer it.
The incident was on Friday afternoon of course and there was no hope of repair help before Monday. We spent the weekend digging DEEP into our closets and even made an emergency run to Target for socks and underwear at one point. Monday over his lunch hour, Nevin was told all we needed was a new dryer belt. While that is $100 I would have preferred to spend elsewhere, at least we didn't need another trip to Lowe's!
I am thankful for people whose expertise is different from mine. I don't know how to fix a dryer (obviously) and when my dishwasher overflowed the best I knew how to do was turn it off and lay down towels! When my computer malfunctions, I yell for my husband, mom or brothers. If I want advice about resume writing, I have a friend in the wings. More information on current events, a great history teacher friend. Parenting, an abundance of friends and family (both online and off). I can't do it all. None of us can. It's not a weakness to ask for help but instead a strength.
May I know when to ask for help, but also when to offer it.
13 November, 2011
Days of Thanksgiving: Thirteen
Days of Thanksgiving: Twelve
12. I am thankful for Baby Tylenol and Orajel. Poor baby boy is struggling to get at least two new teeth if not more. I held him while he cried and patted at his mouth for over an hour in the middle of last night. Today his spirits are up and I'm hoping those buggers break through his gums soon.
Days of Thanksgiving: Eleven
11. I am thankful for old friends. I was able to go out to dinner with three of my oldest friends this weekend and it was food for my soul. I miss our late night conversations and plentiful time to sit and share. I miss the days when getting together was effortless and frequent. While we all promised nothing would ever interfere with our relationship, life always does. It's one of the hard truths of growing up. Whether it be the responsibility of taking care of our children, demanding jobs, or family obligations, we just don't get to see each other as much as we would like.
This weekend though, while enjoying a delicious meal and plenty of drinks, we laughed and talked. We reminisced and shared our new lives with each other. It was beautiful.
10 November, 2011
Days of Thanksgiving: Ten
10. I am thankful for dishwashers. I didn't realize how much I took mine for granted until last Saturday when it started leaking into my basement bathroom. We heave been sans dishwasher for almost a week now and I HATE DOING DISHES. My kitchen if finally clean for the week and I don't want to mess it up! I am contemplating ordering a pizza tonight and eating it directly out of the box so I don't have to wash anything.
It's true that when it rains it pours. What in the world could happen next?
09 November, 2011
Days of Thanksgiving: Nine
9. I am thankful for snow. Yes, I am one of those. I love the icy, white gift from the sky. I don't particularly like driving in it, but since my commute is down to less than ten minutes from the just over an hour one, that doesn't even hold me back as much.
In my thankfulness for snow, I am able to see so many other things for which I am thankful. I am thankful for the money to be able to clothe my son in weather appropriate items. The poor bundle was swept away to daycare today in a hat, winter coat and mittens with boots and snow pants on the side. I think if they wrap him up in all of that gear, he'll melt and won't be able to move!
I am thankful for my garage. Not having to scrape my windows makes the snow that much prettier.
I am thankful for my husband. While we didn't have enough snow to warrant it this time, I know that he will take care of scooping the snow this winter. He's a pretty cool dude.
I am thankful for the never ending hot tea supply I have built up. Since my "I am thankful for coffee post", I have tried to cut back. I've been so tired lately I'm wondering if it's an overabundance of caffeine that my body is now immune to. I am sleeping. I am not pregnant. I am no more stressed out than any working mom. There is no explanation for this tiredness!
I am thankful for the (new-ish) parking ramp on campus. While it's still a small trek to my office, it is nothing compared to walking from the back of the Gilchrist parking lot like I did in the past.
I am thankful forreliable vehicles a reliable vehicle to get me and my family around.
In my thankfulness for snow, I am able to see so many other things for which I am thankful. I am thankful for the money to be able to clothe my son in weather appropriate items. The poor bundle was swept away to daycare today in a hat, winter coat and mittens with boots and snow pants on the side. I think if they wrap him up in all of that gear, he'll melt and won't be able to move!
I am thankful for my garage. Not having to scrape my windows makes the snow that much prettier.
I am thankful for my husband. While we didn't have enough snow to warrant it this time, I know that he will take care of scooping the snow this winter. He's a pretty cool dude.
I am thankful for the never ending hot tea supply I have built up. Since my "I am thankful for coffee post", I have tried to cut back. I've been so tired lately I'm wondering if it's an overabundance of caffeine that my body is now immune to. I am sleeping. I am not pregnant. I am no more stressed out than any working mom. There is no explanation for this tiredness!
I am thankful for the (new-ish) parking ramp on campus. While it's still a small trek to my office, it is nothing compared to walking from the back of the Gilchrist parking lot like I did in the past.
I am thankful for
08 November, 2011
Days of Thanksgiving: Eight
8. I am thankful for libraries. During the semester I don't have a lot of time for fun reading, and getting to the library is basically nonexistent. As I look forward to my Thanksgiving break however, I am super stoked to take Louis for story time at the Cedar Falls Public Library again. We were going at least once a week over the summer but haven't been since then.
Since I was a little kid, the library has always been one of my favorite places to be. I remember going to the Remsen Public Library almost every day during the summer. Not only did I have my own library card number memorized, but most of the librarians did too from the frequent checkouts! It was the place I memorized Roger Hargreaves Mr. Men and Little Miss series, worked my way through the American Girl books, read every one of R.L. Stine's Goosebumps and Fear Street books, checked out the biggest biographies I could find, flipped through my first bridal magazine, and started my young fascination with romance novels (I took Zoya to my fourth grade silent sustained reading time).
I took my younger siblings to the Whittemore Public Library for story time every Saturday when I got a little older and not only did we consume many of their books but their movie rentals also came in very handy.
In college I worked at the UNI Rod Library and I would go back to work there in a second if I had the opportunity. I would probably want to move up from student building monitor and book shelver, but I remember that job fondly!
In my mind, libraries are a magical place!
07 November, 2011
Days of Thanksgiving: Seven
7. I am thankful for Spotify. Honestly, my life would be less rich without music and Spotify helps me get through grading, entertain my son, start thinking about the upcoming holiday season, clean my house faster, cut back on the amount of TV I'm watching, and liven up a quiet house.
At this exact moment I'm listening to How the Grinch Stole Christmas. I know it isn't very Thanksgiving-ie but I'm enjoying it thoroughly. On a related note, I have to keep my office door closed this time of year so no one can hear that I start listening to holiday music much earlier than others would deem okay. If I don't get some of the spirit going now though, it'll all be over before I know it! Earlier I had written that I don't like Christmas displays up in stores this early and I hold to that. There is a difference between a little music on my own time and being tinseled out by Halloween.
Thank you Spotify for making my life richer!
At this exact moment I'm listening to How the Grinch Stole Christmas. I know it isn't very Thanksgiving-ie but I'm enjoying it thoroughly. On a related note, I have to keep my office door closed this time of year so no one can hear that I start listening to holiday music much earlier than others would deem okay. If I don't get some of the spirit going now though, it'll all be over before I know it! Earlier I had written that I don't like Christmas displays up in stores this early and I hold to that. There is a difference between a little music on my own time and being tinseled out by Halloween.
Thank you Spotify for making my life richer!
06 November, 2011
Days of Thanksgiving: Six
6. I am thankful for comfort. After a week in work clothes, I cannot wait to snuggle up in yoga pants, a soft sweatshirt and a throw blanket. Bliss.
Days of Thanksgiving: Five
5. I am thankful for kindness. After running around frantic and frazzled on Friday morning, I ended up in a car accident. Other than the sun that was in my eyes, it was entirely my fault. I was letting my "gotta go" mentality keep me from being safe and present in the moment. Louis and I were in the car but besides my pride and the front drivers side wheel well area, we were unhurt.
In the remaining day, when people could have been incredibly irritated and rude about my incident, I was surrounded by kindness. The man I hit was unreasonably supportive, Nevin was caring, our insurance agent was understanding, and the students I stood up were more concerned with me than having to reschedule our meetings. I cannot say in my rush around lifestyle I always embody the spirit of kindness. I wish to be better about being kind myself and taking the time to recognize the kindness in others.
In the remaining day, when people could have been incredibly irritated and rude about my incident, I was surrounded by kindness. The man I hit was unreasonably supportive, Nevin was caring, our insurance agent was understanding, and the students I stood up were more concerned with me than having to reschedule our meetings. I cannot say in my rush around lifestyle I always embody the spirit of kindness. I wish to be better about being kind myself and taking the time to recognize the kindness in others.
04 November, 2011
Days of Thanksgiving: Four
4. I am thankful for coffee. Lots and lots of coffee. I like fancy coffee, chain coffee, home coffee, even cheap diner coffee. I like coffee from a traditional coffee pot, giant carafe and my fancy glass french press. I am thankful for coffee with milk, coffee with cream, coffee black, and coffee with syrup. I like extra, extra big coffees. Iced or hot, even lukewarm from sitting while too much talking happened.
03 November, 2011
Days of Thanksgiving: Three
3. I am thankful for my students. I am blessed to get to work with brilliant, up and coming, creative minds. I am often astounded by my students and I don't comment on it enough. The outrageous and awful comes up in conversation more than it should. I hope to be better at accounting the good!
02 November, 2011
Days of Thanksgiving: Two
2. I am thankful for Louis' daycare. While the first month was hard on all of us, our Child Development Center has been a godsend. I know my child is safe, loved and celebrated every day, even during the hours I cannot be with him. The wonderful teachers as his school are helping him accomplish things that aren't even on my radar. At one, he has already helped make applesauce, recognizes nursery rhymes, and helps clean up after himself. Every month that the bill comes out of my paycheck, I can say it's one purchase that is worth every penny. If anything, the check barely touches the value of the goods we receive from it.
I know for a whole host of reasons not all parents can say this about their child's caregivers. We need to become a culture that supports parents, not one that thinks of children as an other but instead one that welcomes them into our social spaces. When our children need to grace private spaces so their parents can occupy an adult only world, these private spaces need to be given the resources and respect they deserve for the important work that they do.
I know for a whole host of reasons not all parents can say this about their child's caregivers. We need to become a culture that supports parents, not one that thinks of children as an other but instead one that welcomes them into our social spaces. When our children need to grace private spaces so their parents can occupy an adult only world, these private spaces need to be given the resources and respect they deserve for the important work that they do.
Days of Thanksgiving: One
I love Christmas. I start listening to Christmas music as soon as I feel the urge, usually sometime after Halloween. The weather needs to start getting yucky and the darkness needs to start consuming my early evenings. Even in my love of Christmas however, early Christmas displays in stores irritate me. I don't want to see tinsle and candy canes until the end of November.
I don't have a Nordstrom store anywhere near me, but if I did I would give them all of my business. This month I'm dedicating my postings to things for which I am thankful. I'm going to take the time to recognize the things in my life that give it meaning.
1. I am thankful for my family. This week JO has been living with us because she had an allergic reaction to some antibiotics and needed a comfortable haven to re-cooperate in. I am thankful both for the resources to be able to offer her a room and for the support of family when things get itchy!
I don't have a Nordstrom store anywhere near me, but if I did I would give them all of my business. This month I'm dedicating my postings to things for which I am thankful. I'm going to take the time to recognize the things in my life that give it meaning.
1. I am thankful for my family. This week JO has been living with us because she had an allergic reaction to some antibiotics and needed a comfortable haven to re-cooperate in. I am thankful both for the resources to be able to offer her a room and for the support of family when things get itchy!
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