Resolutions

So I like writing resolutions...keeping them is another story. Because my goal is to be better, not be perfect though. I'm doing okay.


1. plant a garden.
I received my seed porn in the mail today. Seed Savers Exchange, Burpee, Johnny's and Gurney's. They have my motivation up. Now I just need to figure out exactly how to start a garden. Details.

2. spend more time at the local library.
I haven't been back, but I'm hoping to go on Saturday afternoon. We start Louis' Parent/Child swimming lessons on Saturday though, so we'll see if we have the energy for it.

3. buy local.
So far, fail. I have bought one gift and it ended up being from Kohl's. Now in my defense it's something Dylan will really like, but it's not exactly unique.

4. focus my energy on cultivating relationships. 
Nevin and I got away for 30 hours to celebrate our anniversary. It was a great trip in Decorah! We ate great food, enjoyed a couple of adult beverages, did a little shopping, and got to sleep through the night.


Winter break allowed for some time with my friends and family and I hope to continue that priority once the semester get's going.

5. establish a method for organizing my pictures. 
Nothing, nada, zip, zilch, nix.

6. blog more as a way of memory keeping. 
This is my first blog posting since I made that resolution. Hmmm...we'll see.

7. get up before Louis in the morning.
I've gotten better at this and today I even worked out before Louis got out of bed. Will this continue? I hope so. 

8. be more thoughtful, kind, gracious, patient, happy, pleasant...
Always a work in progress.

My year in review

Be careful what you wish for...

I have been craving a day to myself. A day for whatever I want in the exact moment I want it. No worries about anyone else's needs, just a selfish day for me. I imagined reading and crafting and blogging and shopping. Maybe some cooking or closest organizing if I got really ambitious.

INSTEAD I woke up a little before six this morning and just didn't feel right. By the time I sat up in bed, I felt terrible. The next 13 hours I spent alone not worrying about any one else's needs. Nevin and Lou had a day just the two of them while I laid alone in bed wishing for a regular busy day full of errands and dishes. Whether it was food poisoning or the flu, I am hoping to not have to deal with the likes of it ever again. Being sick is the greatest reminder of how good I really have it every day I'm not wishing for someone to put me out of my misery. After having some toast (thank you, Nevin) and half a bottle of Gatorade (again, thank you hubby) tonight, I feel I am finally on the mend. My dehydrated joints are still screaming in agony but the thought of food no longer makes me want to go on a hunger strike.

Why oh why, could this have not been a day spent with my nook and a bottomless coffee cup? Apparently, in the future I must be clearer with the genie.

Mmm...mmm...growing up...

One Year Old

One Year Ago

I can't believe we celebrated Louis' first birthday this month. If it continues to go this quickly he'll be moving out in what feels like a few weeks. The day to day of being a mom can be quite a lot to handle but this "being mindful" mindset helps. When I'm overwhelmed by the toy clutter or the whining of a teething boy, I've been working on taking a breath and looking at the larger picture. I'm so blessed. 




Other than celebrating with our family, we've been working on using our time more effectively around here. We like being successful at work, raising a happy child, having a clean house, creating healthy meals, finding time to relax, and cultivating relationships outside of our trio. There aren't enough hours in the day or days in the week for everything though. I've always been an all or nothing type and it's hard for me to do something halfway; I'd rather not do it at all! I'm trying to work on that mindset. Life can't be all or nothing or most of us would digress into nothingness. While I may strive to be perfect, it is an unattainable goal. Doing the best I can most of the time and getting by the rest has to be good enough. 


One of the places I struggle most with this is with grocery shopping and meal planning. This part of my life often falls into my overwhelmed so nothing category. I like the physical act of walking through a grocery store. The possibilities are endless and it's exciting to try new dishes or combinations. The place I falter is in the list writing and meal planning. I have a hard time imagining and planning for what I want to eat next Wednesday. I find great comfort in food and I want every meal I eat to be great. I hate mediocre food but I don't have the time to invent and cook grand cuisine three times a day every day. Also, Louis really needs healthy balanced meals three to six times a day. He is not a big eater and prefers little snacks continuously throughout the day, but this is hard. I don't want to throw crackers at him every two hours but preparing a healthy unprocessed concoction that many times a day is hard.


I'm finding help with this in food magazines and online food blogs. There are many out there that have done this before me and so I'm stealing their hard work to jump start me. Here goes nothing!

Good intentions are not enough

I had all summer to be with my boy and spend my time writing and organizing my life. Lou and I had a great time. We played and sang. We swam and read. We walked and baked. My house is much more in order than it was in May. (Most of the) boxes are unpacked in the proper rooms. The painter did a nice job of brightening up our walls. I worked hard so my classes would start out on the right foot. The lessons I created have enhanced the quality of my courses. My students are engaged and wonderful. My writing...stopped in June. I want to write. I try to take time for writing but it always comes in as the last thing on my to do list. I think of it as something that needs to be done instead of something I really want to be doing. I need a change in perspective.


I too often get caught up in all I HAVE to do and forget to by mindful of the moment. Every day I notice little reminders about slowing down and enjoying what I GET to do instead of NEED to do.


I have a house I get to clean and food I get to feed my family.
I have a baby (almost one year old) I get to rock at night when he can't sleep.
I have a partner who I get to empty the DVR with instead of going to bed early.
I have a job where I get to read papers and hear speeches from students who are excited to start their journey toward independent adulthood.


May I change all of my needs to gets and wants. May I remember what is really important. May I notice the beauty of the leaves as they fall and I think about getting to rake them up!