After fourteen months, I am officially done breastfeeding. It has brought about expected (and hoped for) changes, more freedom, smaller bras and the dropping of my last five pounds of pregnancy weight. The unexpected change however is breaking my heart. Lou wants nothing to do with me. He loves his "dada" and I have not gotten one snuggle in over a week. I know it isn't personal, but after months of our own personal connection, it makes me sad. It has much more to do with the fact that Louis no longer sits still...ever. The kid wants to be running around and playing at all times."Pause for a hug?" "No way!"
"Kiss?" "Blech."
"Sit on my lap for a story?" "I'd rather play over here while you read loud enough for me to hear."
I don't mean to wish to keep my son a baby. It would be a huge waste of energy. It won't work and I do want to watch him grow up. It's a privilege to be able to. What I want is to remember. I want to savor the moments as they happen because soon it will all change again.
It's been super fun watching him turn into his own person. He's starting to talk, well, he tries really hard and he will engage in a "conversation." He takes after his dad and finds himself incredibly funny. He loves going to school to play with his friends and I'm already wondering how I"ll entertain him during break. I'm sure one of these days he'll snuggle me again, I'll just have to wait it out.
