My year in review

Spread the Word

Facilitating Judgement-Free Breastfeeding

Welcome 2012!

I have been missing for the last few weeks because I've been overwhelmed with finishing up an old semester and getting ready for a new one, while trying to celebrate the holiday season with my little family and our larger more extended families. I could go back and write about it all, but I'm not feeling it. I'd rather focus on the year ahead and all of the resolutions I hope to make habits in the next year.


I am a huge fan of beginning of the year resolutions. I love the thought of starting new and of making myself into a better person than I currently am. I love beginnings and writing lists. I love trying new things and thinking critically about my life. While I could spend my time working really hard toward one goal, I think I will instead make a comprehensive list, knowing I will most likely not accomplish all of them at 100%. I will instead focus on even small steps toward the following list.


This year, I will...

1. plant a garden. I hope to add more and more plants over the next few years, but this summer I would like enough fresh produce to create a fresh omelette, a homemade salsa, or a crisp, summer salad with Louis.

2. spend more time at the local library. Spending money on books is wasteful with such an amazing resource at my fingertips. I want to instill a love of reading in my son and reading has always been an escape for me. Both of these ideologies are reasons to find time to spend more time in the stacks.

3. buy local. While Amazon is convenient and a last minute gift buyers dream, I would like to do better at supporting our local establishments. There are great places downtown to find unique, quality gifts. I just need to make the time to shop this way.

4. focus my energy on cultivating relationships. I need alone time but when life gets tough, it's the people that step up that can save you from yourself. My family started with just my husband and me. That relationship is the foundation on which my family now stands, we must remember to take care of it. Before my husband and me though, there were the wonderful friendships that got me through college. My girlfriends were my world, and they deserve more of my current world. It won't ever be as much as it once was, but they need to be a priority even in a new form.

5. establish a method for organizing my pictures. I am terrible at baby books and picture books. I have tried and failed. I want to be one of those moms but it's just not going to happen. Once something becomes a "should," my guard goes up and I never get around to it again. Some months I take hundreds of pictures and others I'm lucky to get five, but no matter the quantity I want to make them easy to access. 

6. blog more as a way of memory keeping. Just as I struggle with the baby books and the picture books, I have not been great at being a consistent writer here. While for many a blog is a way to make their lives public, I view this as a convenient way of remembering.

7. get up before Louis in the morning. I need to use Louis' sleeping time more to my advantage. He is no longer that infant that didn't move from his blanket while I ran laundry, flipped through a magazine, graded a stack of papers or retreated into a relaxing episode of some corny, cop show. After he goes to bed at night and before he gets up in the morning are my best bets at time alone. Whether it be 30 minutes on the elliptical, a couple chapters of a one of my current library books, writing one of these very posts, or selecting the best photos from the month, this time is valuable and should be cherished.

8. be more thoughtful, kind, gracious, patient, happy, pleasant...

Can I do it all? Most likely not. Can I try every, single day to be better? Absolutely.

Daddy's Little Boy

After fourteen months, I am officially done breastfeeding. It has brought about expected (and hoped for) changes, more freedom, smaller bras and the dropping of my last five pounds of pregnancy weight. The unexpected change however is breaking my heart. Lou wants nothing to do with me. He loves his "dada" and I have not gotten one snuggle in over a week. I know it isn't personal, but after months of our own personal connection, it makes me sad. It has much more to do with the fact that Louis no longer sits still...ever. The kid wants to be running around and playing at all times.


"Pause for a hug?" "No way!"
"Kiss?" "Blech."
"Sit on my lap for a story?" "I'd rather play over here while you read loud enough for me to hear."


I don't mean to wish to keep my son a baby. It would be a huge waste of energy. It won't work and I do want to watch him grow up. It's a privilege to be able to. What I want is to remember. I want to savor the moments as they happen because soon it will all change again.


It's been super fun watching him turn into his own person. He's starting to talk, well, he tries really hard and he will engage in a "conversation." He takes after his dad and finds himself incredibly funny. He loves going to school to play with his friends and I'm already wondering how I"ll entertain him during break. I'm sure one of these days he'll snuggle me again, I'll just have to wait it out.

Teething...

SUCKS!!! Poor baby is cranky and in pain and his parents are exhausted and running short on patience.


This too shall pass.


Right?

The Ongoing Crisis of Abundance

I would like to start sharing things I've read that have made me laugh, cry, are inspiring, make me think, challenge me, or are worth remembering.


The first one I'm going to share is The Ongoing Crisis of Abundance from Talk Birth: Celebrating Women, Transforming Birth. I have found since Louis was born fourteen months ago that my need for control and my ability to do EVERYTHING have created a never ending conflict in my life. More than once this last semester, I've felt overwhelmed to the point of breakdown and  but when I sit back to figure out why, it's for ridiculous reasons. It's because my new bought over a year ago house still isn't fully decorated, because I don't have time to do crafts with my new born over a year ago son, because I don't have the time to bake great food, make great gifts and take great pictures, because my Google Reader is full and I just don't have the time to empty it. This is RIDICULOUS! Every day I do great things. I do what I can. I do not need to do everything. I continue to repeat this to myself as I ban Pinterest from my life, I do not need to do everything!

Working, working, working

Without the task of writing every day about the things for which I'm thankful, I haven't been writing much. (Knocking on wood) things seem to have stopped being one giant cluster after another, and so now I'm back to the every day grind of task completion. Next week is final's week at school and so I was hoping to get caught up with all things school-oriented before I left campus on Friday. Not quite, but I am much closer than I have been some semesters. Next week I'll grade final exams and submit grades, while hopefully starting on notes and planning for next semester.


At home, I'm trying to instill as much holiday cheer into our lives before it's all over for 2011. 

Decorated the house. 

Gone to visit Santa at Heritage Farm in Hudson. 

Attended the UNI Men's Glee Club Christmas concert. 

Celebrated St. Nicholas Day (complete with oranges in our shoes). 

Attended an ugly sweater party. 

Celebrated Freking Christmas with with Jo and Dylan. 

Started work on the Biennial Freking Family Christmas Program.

Listened to enough Christmas music that Nevin has threatened (under his breath) to move out.

Sipped on coffees with egg nog.

Baked.

Drank hot chocolate.

Hung out with Kevin, Scott, Hermey, Buddy, Bob, Phil (WHY ARE THESE ALL MEN?).

Also hung out with Judy, Betty, Clarice, Susan, Sybil.

Started, emphasis on STARTed,  gift buying. Although, my list is nearly complete.

I love this time of year. It's the time to search out the best in people and every situation. It's the time to give of oneself. It's a magical time of wishes and hopes and dreams. I hope Nevin and I can create special traditions and instill the real feelings of the season into Louis'childhood.


Now if I could only will it to snow...